Lance, France & Bicycle Pants

It's official.  Lance Armstrong never existed.  At least that's what the world of cycling would have you believe.

Lance has been stripped of his seven Tour De France titles, a lifetime ban has been imposed, and the cycling big wigs couldn't be happier about it.  They've been waiting for this day for a long time.

Let's be clear here.  Lance did it.  He doped.  He cheated and I'm not excusing that here.  But I do find it interesting how in this case the cycling world is laying the hammer down in a before unprecedented way.  Why?  Because Americans aren't supposed to win out there.  Plain and simple.  Before Lance came along, only one American had emerged victorious at the Tour De France in the 100-year history of the event.  That was Greg LeMond and he had to overcome attacks from his own TEAMMATE to get it done.  That teammate being a Frenchman.

As far back as anyone can remember there have been cries in Europe that Lance Armstrong was cheating.  This man had the audacity to come over here and WIN?  The Euros wanted blood - both literally and figuratively.  He was tested more than most lab rats and nobody can provide a single failed sample.  It's the reason Lance can walk away from all of this shaking his head and throwing up his hands.

The thing is, though, EVERYBODY did it.  The official Tour De France record book will now read "no winner" for 1999-2005.  Why not just give it to the guy who finished second you ask?  Well, he's also tied to doping.  Yes, all seven years.  No, not the same guy.  In fact, 20 of the 21 top finishers from those seven years have SOME sort of link to doping. 

Spaniard Alberto Contador won the Tour in 2009 and 2010.  In that last race Contador tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs DURING THE RACE.  That title was supposedly re-assigned to a guy from Luxembourg, but Contador is still listed as winner of both races on the Tour's official website.

Denmark's Bjarne Riis is still listed as the 1996 winner even though he admitted to doping for that Tour after the fact.

In fact, only one other person has ever actually had his title stripped and taken out of the record book.  That would be American Floyd Landis.  And the punchline?  They gave THAT title in 2007 to Contador (he of the previously-reported failed drug test.)

It's pretty simple, really.  If your crime is that you cheated, there will be some sort of consequence, but mostly a slap on the wrist.  If your crime is that you're AMERICAN and you cheated?   Off with his head!

Imagine someone walked up to you in your 20's and said "everyone you're in competition with in your life is cheating.  Here's a pill.  It's the same one they're all taking.  It's illegal... but if you take it, all of your dreams will come true."  No matter what your calling in life.  Take this pill and you'll be the Super Bowl MVP.  Take this pill and you'll be Bob Costas.  Take this pill and you'll be a rock star... or the world's best golfer... or the creator of the iphone.

Again, I'm not saying this excuses the behavior, but can you honestly say you wouldn't think about taking that pill?  When the cycling world is faced with that question, just about everyone takes the pill - and there really isn't even anyone denying that fact.

Cycling is a mess and everyone is cheating.  Some, however, are treated differently.

When they announced their decision, Pat McQuaid (the head of cycling's governing body) said, "Lance Armstrong has no place in cycling and he deserves to be forgotten in cycling."

The problem for McQuaid is that Armstrong fits in PERFECTLY with cycling... well, except for one small detail:  he's American.

OUch: A History Lesson

As the horror unfolded at the Cotton Bowl on Saturday, my brother-in-law stood next to me jumping out of his skin.  He couldn't believe what he was seeing in his second trip to the Red River Rivalry, and I think he was equally perplexed at how stoic I was - the biggest Longhorn fan he knew wasn't going crazy and yelling at the field.  I just stood there with a dazed look on my face because as awful as it was... I had seen it before.

Now that the dust has settled I hear my friends and fellow fans calling for Mack Brown's head and saying things like "I thought there was no way we were capable of being THAT bad."  Those people simply haven't been paying attention.

Since the 2000 season Texas has lost to Oklahoma by 38 or more points FOUR TIMES.  Yes.  In those 13 games the Longhorns are only 3-10 and four of them were as bad or worse as what you saw on Saturday.

Let's put that into a little bit of perspective.  Since the Longhorns first ran out onto a football field in 1893 they have lost games by 38 points or more just 18 times.  Ever.  They've played 1,275 games.  And four of those 18 have happened recently... and to the same team.

I know what you're thinking: it goes both ways.  Actually, in this case it doesn't.

The 2005 Texas team bound for a National Championship beat the Sooners by 33.  That matched the biggest blowout for our side in the series' history.  The Horns also beat OU by 32 in 1970 - another national championship season.  Not bad, but those are the best teams in our history laying down a thumping.

So Texas has never beaten Oklahoma by more than 33 points and they needed to have the best team in the country to do it.  Oklahoma has beaten Texas by more than 33 points nine times.

Texas is still well ahead of OU all-time, being on the better end of a 59-43-5 overall record, and while style points don't count in the win column, they certainly help to shape public opinion.  It can be easy sometimes to brush off a bad day and stare straight ahead like I was doing on Saturday, but a little indignation may be ok this time.  It's important to look at the history... so that you don't unwittingly repeat it.

By the way, the worst loss the Longhorns ever suffered came in 1997 when UCLA came into Austin and laid down a 66-3 thumping on Texas, a game forever known on the 40 acres as "Rout 66."  John Mackovic was fired at the end of that season.