I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat around with sports fans having the “different levels of competition” discussion. Could the best high school football team in the country beat an average college team? Could the college national champs hang with a bad NBA team? It’s a fun conversation, but the answer is always “no.” I don’t care how dominant the College World Series champs might have looked… the Pittsburgh Pirates would kick the crap out of them. The levels just aren’t the same.
So why do we insist on comparing things about which there is no comparison?
ESPN has been falling all over themselves this week to tell us about the UConn women’s basketball team and their amazing streak of 89 consecutive wins. I use the word “amazing” here, because that’s what I think it is. It’s amazing to win 89 straight games and the Lady Huskies and their fans should be very proud. We may never see anything like it again in women’s hoops. But ESPN goes a step further. “With its 89th victory, UConn passed the 1971-74 UCLA men's program, which won 88 straight, to claim the longest win streak in NCAA Division I basketball history.”
I’m sorry. It’s just not the same.
To start with, it’s LITERALLY not the same game. It might look the same, but there are differences. The 3-point line is closer. The ball is smaller. But the real difference comes in the level of competition. The UConn women are dominant in a sport that has very little depth. Take a look at their streak. They have AVERAGED 30-point wins for 89 straight games. Very rarely has anyone even been CLOSE to beating them. You could argue that it makes the streak even MORE impressive. I agree. But it also proves why you can’t compare the two streaks.
They got their 89th win last night against a pretty good Florida State team. In fact, FSU was ranked #20 in the country. So obviously that means this would be a real nailbiter and that the streak was really in jeopardy. Um… no. UConn predictably rolled ‘em. It was a 27-point game by halftime. The game that “tied” the UCLA record? A 31-point thumping of the 11th-ranked team in the nation. There is very little competition below the top 5 or so teams in women’s basketball. That means that in a typical season (and postseason) UConn really only will play 2 or 3 games against teams with any realistic chance to beat them. Most of the time it’s just leading lambs to slaughter.
UCLA was tested much more often. Forget 4 or 5 teams in the COUNTRY that are formidable. The Bruins had 4 or 5 teams in their CONFERENCE. It’s apples to oranges.
ESPN got caught up in a local phenomenon that I saw a lot in TV news: the story closest to you is the biggest story. If the baseball and hockey teams are both playing and you happen to be AT the hockey game... there’s a decent chance that you’ll over-inflate the value of that game. It’s only natural – you got a little too excited being in the middle of it.
ESPN – the “worldwide leader in sports” makes their home in Bristol, Connecticut. I guarantee that over the past few weeks as this streak was reaching its apex, folks in Bristol were talking about it – a LOT. You probably couldn’t go anywhere in town without hearing about it. Lady Huskies talk at the grocery store and the hairdresser… at the Blockbuster and the Dairy Queen. Would this story be getting the same kind of ESPN attention if it was the Lady Longhorns team from Austin? I doubt it.
ESPN got a little too excited.
UConn did something remarkable - something that may never be seen again in women’s basketball. But it’s a record that should be reserved for WOMEN’S basketball. UConn has no more to do with UCLA’s record than women’s softball has to do with the New York Yankees.
You may be thinking, “but they’re not even playing the same game!”
Exactly.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Texas Fight
It was only 11 months ago that the Texas Longhorns stood on the Rose Bowl field looking up at the scoreboard. 3:14 left on the clock and a 3-point game. Freshman Garrett Gilbert had come off the bench in the first meaningful action of his career and had shown the type of promise that teams dream of from their top recruits.
Yes, Colt McCoy was leaving and so was Jordan Shipley, but the torch had been passed. The team was going to be ok. And this wasn’t a case of looking through the world with burnt orange-colored glasses. Folks in Austin weren’t the only ones who thought this team could still hang. The Associated Press had Texas ranked 5th in the country to start 2010. The coaches had the Horns 4th.
We were all wrong. This team lacked the heart that others have had. It seemed to lack leadership and it definitely lacked strategy. The vaunted recruiting classes of the last few years failed to unearth its promised superstars. This can’t be laid at the feet of Garrett Gilbert, either. He hasn’t been the success story Texas fans hoped for, but he hasn’t been placed in the best position to succeed, either. Dropped passes, questionable play-calling and a sub-standard offensive line have made his sophomore season difficult.
Put those ingredients together: lack of heart and leadership, poor game-planning and play-calling, underachieving talent. The result is obvious. Losses to Oklahoma and Oklahoma State – Baylor and Texas A&M – these things you could almost explain away if they were close games… they were all ranked teams. But losses to teams like UCLA, Kansas State and Iowa State? These are the things that show you that you have a major problem.
And now I see Longhorn Nation in a panic. I see fans who don’t care about the games anymore. I hear people say things like, “Who cares? We suck anyway.” So soon after standing on the precipice of greatness?
Look, I get it. We’re spoiled. We had one of the greatest runs in the history of college football. 9 straight seasons with at least 10 wins? That’s the type of thing that will make you awfully comfortable with winning and losing will start to feel pretty foreign.
But remember how we got here?
In 1997 this team went 4 and 7. That’s right… worse than this year. And the mess started with a disgusting 66-3 loss to UCLA. That team lost to Baylor and Oklahoma State, too. The ’97 bunch lost 4 in a row before getting a win in the 2nd to last week only to lose to a ranked Texas A&M team to finish the year. Sound familiar?
Do you know how long it took for the Texas Longhorns to recover from that disaster season and get back to relevance? Exactly no time flat. In 1998 the ‘Horns won 9 games and finished ranked 15th in the country and were Cotton Bowl champions.
So what happened? A change in the coaching staff. John Mackovic was out – and in from North Carolina came Mack Brown. Ricky Williams was the best player on that ’98 team. But he was also the best player on the ’97 team. The right mix of coaches and a young Major Applewhite put in the position to succeed and they turned it around in a heartbeat. Two more solid 9-win seasons followed without Ricky and then the 10-win streak that led to three BCS games, two title games and one National Championship.
Changes are coming again. Mack Brown isn’t going anywhere, but that’s ok. The point here, friends, is that Mack Brown knows how to do it. He knows when things aren’t working and when he figures it out and gets the right people in the right situations it can get back to good in a big hurry.
I hear the whining. “He should have fired Greg Davis years ago!” Hard to do when you’re in the national championship discussion every year. I’ve even heard people asking if maybe it’s Mack’s time to go.
As it turns out, it’s Mack’s time to shine. He’s done it before and he can do it again. He'll find great football minds to mold great kids into great football players. This team will find leadership and will scratch and claw their way back to the upper rung of the sport.
Keep the faith, Texas fans. Next year will be here before you know it… and there’s every reason to think that it could surprise a lot of people.
Yes, Colt McCoy was leaving and so was Jordan Shipley, but the torch had been passed. The team was going to be ok. And this wasn’t a case of looking through the world with burnt orange-colored glasses. Folks in Austin weren’t the only ones who thought this team could still hang. The Associated Press had Texas ranked 5th in the country to start 2010. The coaches had the Horns 4th.
We were all wrong. This team lacked the heart that others have had. It seemed to lack leadership and it definitely lacked strategy. The vaunted recruiting classes of the last few years failed to unearth its promised superstars. This can’t be laid at the feet of Garrett Gilbert, either. He hasn’t been the success story Texas fans hoped for, but he hasn’t been placed in the best position to succeed, either. Dropped passes, questionable play-calling and a sub-standard offensive line have made his sophomore season difficult.
Put those ingredients together: lack of heart and leadership, poor game-planning and play-calling, underachieving talent. The result is obvious. Losses to Oklahoma and Oklahoma State – Baylor and Texas A&M – these things you could almost explain away if they were close games… they were all ranked teams. But losses to teams like UCLA, Kansas State and Iowa State? These are the things that show you that you have a major problem.
And now I see Longhorn Nation in a panic. I see fans who don’t care about the games anymore. I hear people say things like, “Who cares? We suck anyway.” So soon after standing on the precipice of greatness?
Look, I get it. We’re spoiled. We had one of the greatest runs in the history of college football. 9 straight seasons with at least 10 wins? That’s the type of thing that will make you awfully comfortable with winning and losing will start to feel pretty foreign.
But remember how we got here?
In 1997 this team went 4 and 7. That’s right… worse than this year. And the mess started with a disgusting 66-3 loss to UCLA. That team lost to Baylor and Oklahoma State, too. The ’97 bunch lost 4 in a row before getting a win in the 2nd to last week only to lose to a ranked Texas A&M team to finish the year. Sound familiar?
Do you know how long it took for the Texas Longhorns to recover from that disaster season and get back to relevance? Exactly no time flat. In 1998 the ‘Horns won 9 games and finished ranked 15th in the country and were Cotton Bowl champions.
So what happened? A change in the coaching staff. John Mackovic was out – and in from North Carolina came Mack Brown. Ricky Williams was the best player on that ’98 team. But he was also the best player on the ’97 team. The right mix of coaches and a young Major Applewhite put in the position to succeed and they turned it around in a heartbeat. Two more solid 9-win seasons followed without Ricky and then the 10-win streak that led to three BCS games, two title games and one National Championship.
Changes are coming again. Mack Brown isn’t going anywhere, but that’s ok. The point here, friends, is that Mack Brown knows how to do it. He knows when things aren’t working and when he figures it out and gets the right people in the right situations it can get back to good in a big hurry.
I hear the whining. “He should have fired Greg Davis years ago!” Hard to do when you’re in the national championship discussion every year. I’ve even heard people asking if maybe it’s Mack’s time to go.
As it turns out, it’s Mack’s time to shine. He’s done it before and he can do it again. He'll find great football minds to mold great kids into great football players. This team will find leadership and will scratch and claw their way back to the upper rung of the sport.
Keep the faith, Texas fans. Next year will be here before you know it… and there’s every reason to think that it could surprise a lot of people.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tre' Tabled
By all accounts, Tre Newton had it all. At Southlake Carroll high school in Dallas, Tre was a superstar, leading the Dragons to three state titles and rushing for almost 5,000 yards in an amazing prep career. As a freshman at the University of Texas he led the team in rushing and as he started his sophomore season his role looked to be even bigger. And his lineage practically already had him drafted to the NFL. His father, Nate Newton played for the Dallas Cowboys… his uncle Tim Newton for the Minnesota Vikings. Even his uncle on his mother’s side played in the NFL.
Tre’s Sophomore season began with three touchdowns in the opener against Rice. Little did he know that it would be his last trip to the end zone. You see, Tre had a problem: starting back in high school he had suffered a series of concussions. They continued into college and 13 days ago in Manhattan, Kansas, Tre got hit again – forced to leave the game against Kansas State with another head injury.
By now you can probably tell that this story doesn’t have a happy ending. But it COULD have been a lot worse. Tre is ok. He has some recurring headaches and he’s dealing with other post-concussion symptoms. With only two games left in the season it would be easy to try and fight through it or even sit out the last couple of games and gear up for next year. But Tre has had enough. He looked into his future and saw a hazy and potentially life-threatening path. Tre Newton hung up his cleats at the age of 21 – he quit the team and will no longer play the game he grew up with. "As much as I love football, this is one of the hardest decisions of my life," Newton said. "But football isn't forever."
Tre says the decision was his (although doctors advised him that this was the smart move) and his father, a 6-time Pro-Bowler and 3-time Super Bowl champion, supported Tre’s choice saying, "You have to think about the future because football is going to end someday.”
Teammate Blake Gideon was not as sympathetic. "I always go 100 miles per hour and will worry about all that health stuff 10 years from now when I'm done playing," Gideon went on, "I'm making memories now. We all knew what we were signing up for when we started playing football."
But what good is making memories if the day comes when you can no longer remember them? Or worse.
"I support Tre' but for me personally, I'd die on that field." That’s defensive back Aaron Williams. For some reason, that’s the attitude we expect from our athletes today, and that’s a shame. The truth is, the average NFL career is only 3.3 years. That’s according to the NFL Players Association. And that’s only if you’re one of the fortunate ones who actually gets drafted and makes a roster. You could EASILY take another 500 hits to the head in training camp only to be cut and never get to take the field in the league. Not to mention the dozens of hits he’d take every Saturday the next two years before entering the draft.
Tre made a difficult, but mature decision and he should be applauded. And most of his teammates are very supportive. Mack Brown gets it. The Longhorn coach has promised that Tre can keep his scholarship and work toward his degree in corporate communications. Mack wants Tre to remain close to the football program and even help out coaching the running backs. Tre is all in - "even if it's just running to give somebody water." Maybe he’ll enjoy the coaching side and make a career of it. Maybe Tre will die on that field, too, but at 80 years old and on the sideline, not at 22 between the hashes. There's a difference between quitting and being a quitter and some of his teammates need to learn that.
It’s a rough game and there’s no question that it takes a lot of courage to play football. But sometimes it takes even more courage not to play.
Tre’s Sophomore season began with three touchdowns in the opener against Rice. Little did he know that it would be his last trip to the end zone. You see, Tre had a problem: starting back in high school he had suffered a series of concussions. They continued into college and 13 days ago in Manhattan, Kansas, Tre got hit again – forced to leave the game against Kansas State with another head injury.
By now you can probably tell that this story doesn’t have a happy ending. But it COULD have been a lot worse. Tre is ok. He has some recurring headaches and he’s dealing with other post-concussion symptoms. With only two games left in the season it would be easy to try and fight through it or even sit out the last couple of games and gear up for next year. But Tre has had enough. He looked into his future and saw a hazy and potentially life-threatening path. Tre Newton hung up his cleats at the age of 21 – he quit the team and will no longer play the game he grew up with. "As much as I love football, this is one of the hardest decisions of my life," Newton said. "But football isn't forever."
Tre says the decision was his (although doctors advised him that this was the smart move) and his father, a 6-time Pro-Bowler and 3-time Super Bowl champion, supported Tre’s choice saying, "You have to think about the future because football is going to end someday.”
Teammate Blake Gideon was not as sympathetic. "I always go 100 miles per hour and will worry about all that health stuff 10 years from now when I'm done playing," Gideon went on, "I'm making memories now. We all knew what we were signing up for when we started playing football."
But what good is making memories if the day comes when you can no longer remember them? Or worse.
"I support Tre' but for me personally, I'd die on that field." That’s defensive back Aaron Williams. For some reason, that’s the attitude we expect from our athletes today, and that’s a shame. The truth is, the average NFL career is only 3.3 years. That’s according to the NFL Players Association. And that’s only if you’re one of the fortunate ones who actually gets drafted and makes a roster. You could EASILY take another 500 hits to the head in training camp only to be cut and never get to take the field in the league. Not to mention the dozens of hits he’d take every Saturday the next two years before entering the draft.
Tre made a difficult, but mature decision and he should be applauded. And most of his teammates are very supportive. Mack Brown gets it. The Longhorn coach has promised that Tre can keep his scholarship and work toward his degree in corporate communications. Mack wants Tre to remain close to the football program and even help out coaching the running backs. Tre is all in - "even if it's just running to give somebody water." Maybe he’ll enjoy the coaching side and make a career of it. Maybe Tre will die on that field, too, but at 80 years old and on the sideline, not at 22 between the hashes. There's a difference between quitting and being a quitter and some of his teammates need to learn that.
It’s a rough game and there’s no question that it takes a lot of courage to play football. But sometimes it takes even more courage not to play.
Friday, November 12, 2010
The Fabric of Texas Football
In February of 2005 I was feeling the Longhorn football high. We had taken the “next step.” After three straight 10-2 seasons capped by Holiday and Cotton Bowls, in 2004 it was a BCS berth. The Rose Bowl against Michigan was one of the greatest games I had ever seen. Vince ran for 200 yards and Dusty Mangum hit the game-winning field goal as time expired.
You just KNEW that a big season was coming the next year and so, in February I decided I needed a new piece of game day attire. I found a special on ebay. $29 for a quality Nike Texas jersey – burnt orange with the number 1 on it. I’m certain that this was a store clearing old Chris Simms items, but I didn’t care. I decided that the number 1 on MY jersey would stand for where we’d be at the end of the year – plus I was a fan of receiver Sloan Thomas (an underrated receiver who went to my high school and wore the uno.)
My new jersey arrived a few days later and I decided to use it carefully. This was ONLY to be used for “big games.” I didn’t have to wait long to test it. Week two the Longhorns played the Ohio State Buckeyes. #2 vs. #4 in the Horseshoe. When Limas Sweed made that catch in the back of the end zone, my jersey was off to a great start.
I held true to my plan. I didn’t wear “Uno” for Rice or Missouri… and when it came through at the state fairgrounds with a 45-12 rout of OU, I felt I had caught lightning in a bottle. I kept the jersey on the bench when 24th-ranked Colorado came to town the next week (didn’t want to wear out the mojo) and used it wisely as we rocked #10 Texas Tech. I was out with friends the next week and not watching as Oklahoma State rolled up a 28-9 lead on us. When I got wind, I went home to watch the rest of the game and put on the jersey in a panic. The way I saw it, this had BECOME a “big game.” We scored 38 unanswered points.
The jersey was on my back for an easy win over the Aggies and was complete overkill for a 70-3 Big 12 Championship shellacking of Colorado. It was the only option in my bag as I flew to Pasadena and is in all of my photos for the greatest sports moment of my life. Undefeated season. Undefeated jersey.
The next season I messed up. I had a sideline pass for the big Ohio State home game and couldn’t wear my jersey down there. We lost. But the jersey was still unbeaten. Uno picked up another OU win and didn’t get much play for a while after that. I was in Michigan at a Wolverines game when we almost lost in Nebraska. A last-second field goal bailed me out, but I was just SURE my lack of jersey was going to cost us. On the road at Texas Tech we went down 21-0, but I assured my friends we’d be ok. I was wearing the jersey. 35-31 Texas was the final. I was travelling for work (without Uno) when we lost a bizarre game in Manhattan, Kansas and foolishly wore a novelty t-shirt against A&M as we took another loss. I blame myself for that one. Not the best year for the Horns, but still – Uno couldn’t lose.
In 2007 I wasn’t wearing it for K-State. Just didn’t seem like a “big game.” We lost to those guys AGAIN! And this time at home. Oops. I tried another novelty shirt for OU that did NOT work out. “Mobilehoma” was funny, but the loss was not. I was in Stillwater that year as Oklahoma State led us by 21 points midway through the 3rd quarter. Uno to the rescue. The comeback ability of this jersey is legendary. But then – finally - a chink in the armor when the Aggies beat us AGAIN – and this time while I was wearing the jersey. The Holiday Bowl win was nice, but my confidence in Uno was shaken.
In 2008 things seemed to be working out. I wore the jersey for Arkansas (just to test the waters) but was still gun-shy about OU. What if the juice was gone from the jersey and we lost? I can’t have that on my conscience. Mobilehoma got the job done this time as Texas won 45-35. This began a ridiculous gauntlet of tough games. I went back to my jersey. Uno was on-hand as we beat #11 Missouri and 6th-ranked Oklahoma State. All that was left now was a game at #6 Texas Tech. After some discussion on the Longhorn Nation website - and, yes, actual online voting - , it was decided that I would send the jersey with a friend who would actually BE at the game rather than wear it myself. The plan backfired. Uno suffered its second loss – and a costly one. Disgusted, I kept Uno in the closet until the Rose Bowl. A 24-21 win over Ohio State proved that the magic wasn’t completely gone.
Last year the jersey came out 3 times during the regular season – all victories – and earned itself a trip back to Pasadena. I did everything right. I even wore the same longsleeve t-shirt UNDER Uno that I had worn 4 years before. No dice. Colt got hurt and even Uno couldn’t bring the Horns back from the disastrous last play of the half. Uno had loss number 3 and I had a long flight home to think about how to use the jersey in the future.
After much deliberation this season I left Uno on the shelf for Texas Tech and we won. When we lost to UCLA I figured the jersey wasn’t going to help us much for OU, so I left it in the closet. We lost again. Next came the game in Nebraska. We were cooked - our season already ruined, but because of how much hype this game had gotten all year, because of how much we needed something solid to hang out hats on – and because it just couldn’t POSSIBLY hurt – I pulled Uno out of retirement and we beat a top 5 team on the road. Season saved. Assuming we didn’t need any luck against Iowa State, I put Uno back in the closet. You know how it’s gone from there.
So this Saturday, with another top 10 team coming to town, I’m bringing the jersey to Austin. This will be my final home game of the season and Uno hasn’t been inside the DKR in 14 months. Yes, we’re underdogs. Yes, things have gone badly this year. But if you think we’ve hit rock bottom and you’re considering placing a wager on Oklahoma State this weekend, you’ve been warned. Uno will be in the building. Sure, it’s a longshot, but at 18-3 lifetime, I wouldn’t bet against it.
You just KNEW that a big season was coming the next year and so, in February I decided I needed a new piece of game day attire. I found a special on ebay. $29 for a quality Nike Texas jersey – burnt orange with the number 1 on it. I’m certain that this was a store clearing old Chris Simms items, but I didn’t care. I decided that the number 1 on MY jersey would stand for where we’d be at the end of the year – plus I was a fan of receiver Sloan Thomas (an underrated receiver who went to my high school and wore the uno.)
My new jersey arrived a few days later and I decided to use it carefully. This was ONLY to be used for “big games.” I didn’t have to wait long to test it. Week two the Longhorns played the Ohio State Buckeyes. #2 vs. #4 in the Horseshoe. When Limas Sweed made that catch in the back of the end zone, my jersey was off to a great start.
I held true to my plan. I didn’t wear “Uno” for Rice or Missouri… and when it came through at the state fairgrounds with a 45-12 rout of OU, I felt I had caught lightning in a bottle. I kept the jersey on the bench when 24th-ranked Colorado came to town the next week (didn’t want to wear out the mojo) and used it wisely as we rocked #10 Texas Tech. I was out with friends the next week and not watching as Oklahoma State rolled up a 28-9 lead on us. When I got wind, I went home to watch the rest of the game and put on the jersey in a panic. The way I saw it, this had BECOME a “big game.” We scored 38 unanswered points.
The jersey was on my back for an easy win over the Aggies and was complete overkill for a 70-3 Big 12 Championship shellacking of Colorado. It was the only option in my bag as I flew to Pasadena and is in all of my photos for the greatest sports moment of my life. Undefeated season. Undefeated jersey.
The next season I messed up. I had a sideline pass for the big Ohio State home game and couldn’t wear my jersey down there. We lost. But the jersey was still unbeaten. Uno picked up another OU win and didn’t get much play for a while after that. I was in Michigan at a Wolverines game when we almost lost in Nebraska. A last-second field goal bailed me out, but I was just SURE my lack of jersey was going to cost us. On the road at Texas Tech we went down 21-0, but I assured my friends we’d be ok. I was wearing the jersey. 35-31 Texas was the final. I was travelling for work (without Uno) when we lost a bizarre game in Manhattan, Kansas and foolishly wore a novelty t-shirt against A&M as we took another loss. I blame myself for that one. Not the best year for the Horns, but still – Uno couldn’t lose.
In 2007 I wasn’t wearing it for K-State. Just didn’t seem like a “big game.” We lost to those guys AGAIN! And this time at home. Oops. I tried another novelty shirt for OU that did NOT work out. “Mobilehoma” was funny, but the loss was not. I was in Stillwater that year as Oklahoma State led us by 21 points midway through the 3rd quarter. Uno to the rescue. The comeback ability of this jersey is legendary. But then – finally - a chink in the armor when the Aggies beat us AGAIN – and this time while I was wearing the jersey. The Holiday Bowl win was nice, but my confidence in Uno was shaken.
In 2008 things seemed to be working out. I wore the jersey for Arkansas (just to test the waters) but was still gun-shy about OU. What if the juice was gone from the jersey and we lost? I can’t have that on my conscience. Mobilehoma got the job done this time as Texas won 45-35. This began a ridiculous gauntlet of tough games. I went back to my jersey. Uno was on-hand as we beat #11 Missouri and 6th-ranked Oklahoma State. All that was left now was a game at #6 Texas Tech. After some discussion on the Longhorn Nation website - and, yes, actual online voting - , it was decided that I would send the jersey with a friend who would actually BE at the game rather than wear it myself. The plan backfired. Uno suffered its second loss – and a costly one. Disgusted, I kept Uno in the closet until the Rose Bowl. A 24-21 win over Ohio State proved that the magic wasn’t completely gone.
Last year the jersey came out 3 times during the regular season – all victories – and earned itself a trip back to Pasadena. I did everything right. I even wore the same longsleeve t-shirt UNDER Uno that I had worn 4 years before. No dice. Colt got hurt and even Uno couldn’t bring the Horns back from the disastrous last play of the half. Uno had loss number 3 and I had a long flight home to think about how to use the jersey in the future.
After much deliberation this season I left Uno on the shelf for Texas Tech and we won. When we lost to UCLA I figured the jersey wasn’t going to help us much for OU, so I left it in the closet. We lost again. Next came the game in Nebraska. We were cooked - our season already ruined, but because of how much hype this game had gotten all year, because of how much we needed something solid to hang out hats on – and because it just couldn’t POSSIBLY hurt – I pulled Uno out of retirement and we beat a top 5 team on the road. Season saved. Assuming we didn’t need any luck against Iowa State, I put Uno back in the closet. You know how it’s gone from there.
So this Saturday, with another top 10 team coming to town, I’m bringing the jersey to Austin. This will be my final home game of the season and Uno hasn’t been inside the DKR in 14 months. Yes, we’re underdogs. Yes, things have gone badly this year. But if you think we’ve hit rock bottom and you’re considering placing a wager on Oklahoma State this weekend, you’ve been warned. Uno will be in the building. Sure, it’s a longshot, but at 18-3 lifetime, I wouldn’t bet against it.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Die-Hard
In the late 80's Jeffrey Landrigan was convicted of second-degree murder and sent to an Oklahoma prison. He served his time there for as long as he could stand it and then staged an escape attempt... and it worked. Hell, it's Oklahoma. He probably just told the guard he was the warden and ordered him to let him out.
Rather than look at this "get out of jail free card" as a gift to start a new life, Landrigan sunk back into his old one. A year after his escape he held up a store in Arizona - armed robbery that went awry. He strangled the clerk and killed him. This time, Landrigan was headed straight for death row.
Last night at 10:26pm mountain time, the state of Arizona executed two-time murderer Jeffrey Landrigan. It was as typical as a death sentence can be executed. Landrigan ordered his final meal: steak, fried okra, french fries, strawberry ice cream and a Dr. Pepper. Then just before the state administered the lethal injection, the condemned was offered the chance to say his last words.
"I would like to say 'thank you' to my family for being here and all of my friends," Landrigan said, and just when you thought he was finished he uttered the final thing he would ever say.
"Boomer Sooner."
We may have 3 losses, but we're not that guy. Hook 'Em!
================
You can't make this shit up:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/10/27/arizona.execution/index.html
Rather than look at this "get out of jail free card" as a gift to start a new life, Landrigan sunk back into his old one. A year after his escape he held up a store in Arizona - armed robbery that went awry. He strangled the clerk and killed him. This time, Landrigan was headed straight for death row.
Last night at 10:26pm mountain time, the state of Arizona executed two-time murderer Jeffrey Landrigan. It was as typical as a death sentence can be executed. Landrigan ordered his final meal: steak, fried okra, french fries, strawberry ice cream and a Dr. Pepper. Then just before the state administered the lethal injection, the condemned was offered the chance to say his last words.
"I would like to say 'thank you' to my family for being here and all of my friends," Landrigan said, and just when you thought he was finished he uttered the final thing he would ever say.
"Boomer Sooner."
We may have 3 losses, but we're not that guy. Hook 'Em!
================
You can't make this shit up:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/10/27/arizona.execution/index.html
Friday, October 22, 2010
Copy - Paste - Broadcast
So we have this new robot at work. His name is EARL - the Enhanced Automated Robotic Launcher.
It throws bowling balls.
The idea is that it will throw a ball EXACTLY the same way every time so you can take the variables out and test how different balls react, different pins, lane oil, lane surface - you name it. It's a research tool.
We held a media event to get some coverage for this thing and most of the local news outlets came. That's cool. Whatever. Our hook was that we had a big-time pro bowler show up to bowl a match against the robot. Man vs. Machine. Smart idea.
In the old days you just hope that one of the local TV stations does a story that's kind of cool and puts it on an affiliate feed and the next thing you know the CBS in Pittsburgh is running a little video of the thing. That was the old days.
In this NEW world - things are different. I put together our OWN feature story - video and interviews that I shot and edited myself - so we can control the message and commit more time to it than the typical newscast would.
Then we put that story on youtube, facebook and twitter and distribute the link to any media outlets who will listen.
Typically when we do this for a bowling tournament we'll get maybe 2,000 views in the first week. Not bad when you do 4 or 5 of them at an event, especially because your average media outlet isn't really interested in who's leading after the qualifying rounds of a youth bowling tournament.
For this "Man vs. Machine" story, we've had 50,000 views in 2 days and it's still going up.
Why? Because it's something different. "Did you see the dude bowling against the robot?" It's something that transcends the sport. It also has a niche. Technology websites are interested in the robot angle. Popular Science picked it up. Gizmodo and coolest-gadgets followed. CNET and the Huffington Post put it out there. Sites you've never even heard of jumped on board: technovelgy, politifi, blodic, liquida... a google search for "bowling robot EARL" turns up pages of results.
But there's something else at work here. We wrote a nice "newspaper-style" story. That's not being passed around. It's the video element... and the best part? All of these media outlets don't have to DO anything! They don't need to send a reporter and photographer. They don't even have to take a bunch of raw video and mold something out of it. They get a ready-made feature with a little personality to it and an interesting topic. Every one of these sites is looking for cool content. They all want "clicks." And very few of them have many staff members to speak of. "Man vs. Machine" is always fun... and all I have to do is re-post this link? Sure, why not!
It's the "new journalism" in a microcosm.
And because it's been shared all over, other more traditional media outlets took notice. We got a request for video from Discovery Channel Canada today and from the NHK network in Japan.
Take a look at the story yourself and pass it around to your friends. No, seriously, do it. It's easy. Post the link on facebook... e-mail blast it to your buddies... maybe a tweet... because that's how it works nowadays.
You, too, can be a journalist. Just click here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8yMFdPD68c
It throws bowling balls.
The idea is that it will throw a ball EXACTLY the same way every time so you can take the variables out and test how different balls react, different pins, lane oil, lane surface - you name it. It's a research tool.
We held a media event to get some coverage for this thing and most of the local news outlets came. That's cool. Whatever. Our hook was that we had a big-time pro bowler show up to bowl a match against the robot. Man vs. Machine. Smart idea.
In the old days you just hope that one of the local TV stations does a story that's kind of cool and puts it on an affiliate feed and the next thing you know the CBS in Pittsburgh is running a little video of the thing. That was the old days.
In this NEW world - things are different. I put together our OWN feature story - video and interviews that I shot and edited myself - so we can control the message and commit more time to it than the typical newscast would.
Then we put that story on youtube, facebook and twitter and distribute the link to any media outlets who will listen.
Typically when we do this for a bowling tournament we'll get maybe 2,000 views in the first week. Not bad when you do 4 or 5 of them at an event, especially because your average media outlet isn't really interested in who's leading after the qualifying rounds of a youth bowling tournament.
For this "Man vs. Machine" story, we've had 50,000 views in 2 days and it's still going up.
Why? Because it's something different. "Did you see the dude bowling against the robot?" It's something that transcends the sport. It also has a niche. Technology websites are interested in the robot angle. Popular Science picked it up. Gizmodo and coolest-gadgets followed. CNET and the Huffington Post put it out there. Sites you've never even heard of jumped on board: technovelgy, politifi, blodic, liquida... a google search for "bowling robot EARL" turns up pages of results.
But there's something else at work here. We wrote a nice "newspaper-style" story. That's not being passed around. It's the video element... and the best part? All of these media outlets don't have to DO anything! They don't need to send a reporter and photographer. They don't even have to take a bunch of raw video and mold something out of it. They get a ready-made feature with a little personality to it and an interesting topic. Every one of these sites is looking for cool content. They all want "clicks." And very few of them have many staff members to speak of. "Man vs. Machine" is always fun... and all I have to do is re-post this link? Sure, why not!
It's the "new journalism" in a microcosm.
And because it's been shared all over, other more traditional media outlets took notice. We got a request for video from Discovery Channel Canada today and from the NHK network in Japan.
Take a look at the story yourself and pass it around to your friends. No, seriously, do it. It's easy. Post the link on facebook... e-mail blast it to your buddies... maybe a tweet... because that's how it works nowadays.
You, too, can be a journalist. Just click here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8yMFdPD68c
Monday, October 18, 2010
Great Expectations
Since you were little you've been told that it's dangerous to "put all your eggs in one basket." That's especially true in the world of college football, and yet I see it over and over again: a team and its fans load their entire season's worth of hope on one game.
The Aggies do it every year... but those inferiority issues aren't even interesting anymore... so let's move on. Recently I've actually heard a Sooner fan say, "I don't care if we go 1-11 this year as long as we beat Texas." Really?
As a Longhorn fan I'm not saying we're immune. I cringe every time I hear our fans chant "OU Sucks!" after putting another touchdown on Wyoming. Doesn't make sense to me, but I know it happens. Sometimes one game feels bigger than the season. This year, for the Nebraska Cornhuskers, that game came this past Saturday in Lincoln.
There are plenty of reasons why the Texas game was the one to circle on calendars all across the corn belt: Losing the Big 12 Championship on the final play after the 1-second controversy. Leaving the conference and making no bones about the fact that part of the reason was they were tired of being treated like Texas' little stepbrother. Their crazy-easy schedule to start the season providing no real competition until the Longhorn game... and speaking of schedules, there's the fact that Oklahoma isn't on the Nebraska slate this year. It definitely adds up to a big game.
So ok, circle it on your calendar. That's all right. We all have big games we look forward to seeing. But Nebraska took it several steps too far. There's the "Beat Texas" video that surfaced during the offseason - not posted by some crazed fan, but actually produced by the University! There's the "redoutaroundtheworld" website that launched with a banner across the top with the date October 16, 2010 - pointing to the Texas game. There are RED-emption t-shirts with a :01 clock on the front. I saw a LOT of those on the game telecast this week. They went all-in.
So what happens when you lose that game? At home? To a 2-loss team? What happens when all those preparations, all that smack-talk, all that expectation goes flying out the window? Well, first of all, it devastates your season. Most pundits agree that Nebraska just went from National Championship contender to precarious BCS hopeful. But more than that, it sucks the wind out of what should be a very nice season. The Huskers are doing some special things this year with a freshman quarterback that has the potential to become one of the biggest weapons in the game. Husker Nation was talking about him as the Heisman frontrunner this week. When he wasn't beating Texas they put him on the bench. That's how much this one meant to Nebraska. They're a program that is seemingly on the way up, and yet I heard one Husker fan quoted as saying that they may "never be good again." Come on, guys. It was only one loss.
And so the Huskers leave the Big 12 after this year with a 1-9 record against Texas. Maybe THAT's why they REALLY wanted out. They lost those games in just about every way imaginable - and there were definitely days when they were the better team. This year, however, it was different. This year they made it personal. This year they decided it was going to mean everything. I'll say it again - it was only one loss. But it was the one they couldn't afford... because they set it up that way.
The Aggies do it every year... but those inferiority issues aren't even interesting anymore... so let's move on. Recently I've actually heard a Sooner fan say, "I don't care if we go 1-11 this year as long as we beat Texas." Really?
As a Longhorn fan I'm not saying we're immune. I cringe every time I hear our fans chant "OU Sucks!" after putting another touchdown on Wyoming. Doesn't make sense to me, but I know it happens. Sometimes one game feels bigger than the season. This year, for the Nebraska Cornhuskers, that game came this past Saturday in Lincoln.
There are plenty of reasons why the Texas game was the one to circle on calendars all across the corn belt: Losing the Big 12 Championship on the final play after the 1-second controversy. Leaving the conference and making no bones about the fact that part of the reason was they were tired of being treated like Texas' little stepbrother. Their crazy-easy schedule to start the season providing no real competition until the Longhorn game... and speaking of schedules, there's the fact that Oklahoma isn't on the Nebraska slate this year. It definitely adds up to a big game.
So ok, circle it on your calendar. That's all right. We all have big games we look forward to seeing. But Nebraska took it several steps too far. There's the "Beat Texas" video that surfaced during the offseason - not posted by some crazed fan, but actually produced by the University! There's the "redoutaroundtheworld" website that launched with a banner across the top with the date October 16, 2010 - pointing to the Texas game. There are RED-emption t-shirts with a :01 clock on the front. I saw a LOT of those on the game telecast this week. They went all-in.
So what happens when you lose that game? At home? To a 2-loss team? What happens when all those preparations, all that smack-talk, all that expectation goes flying out the window? Well, first of all, it devastates your season. Most pundits agree that Nebraska just went from National Championship contender to precarious BCS hopeful. But more than that, it sucks the wind out of what should be a very nice season. The Huskers are doing some special things this year with a freshman quarterback that has the potential to become one of the biggest weapons in the game. Husker Nation was talking about him as the Heisman frontrunner this week. When he wasn't beating Texas they put him on the bench. That's how much this one meant to Nebraska. They're a program that is seemingly on the way up, and yet I heard one Husker fan quoted as saying that they may "never be good again." Come on, guys. It was only one loss.
And so the Huskers leave the Big 12 after this year with a 1-9 record against Texas. Maybe THAT's why they REALLY wanted out. They lost those games in just about every way imaginable - and there were definitely days when they were the better team. This year, however, it was different. This year they made it personal. This year they decided it was going to mean everything. I'll say it again - it was only one loss. But it was the one they couldn't afford... because they set it up that way.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Texas Toast
Here’s to the Rangers. In one game they have matched their franchise record for playoff wins. Ron Washington is now tied for most postseason victories by a Texas manager. This afternoon he could take the lead. Winning a series would be a huge step for this club. But don’t just do it for yourselves, Rangers.
Do it for Ted Williams. The first manager in Texas. His frozen head nods in approval.
Do it for Ferguson Jenkins. He was the first real ace on this team. Don’t let Cliff Lee make you forget Fergie.
Do it for Toby Harrah, Gaylord Perry and Bert Blyleven. That 1977 team won 94 games but missed the playoffs. They wouldn’t have that many wins again for another 20+ years.
Do it for Buddy Bell and Charlie Hough. They WERE the Rangers of the early 80’s and they never even sniffed the postseason.
Do it for Bobby Valentine. The Rangers won 25 more games his first year than they did the year before. He got the fuse lit for what was to come.
Do it for Kevin Brown, Julio Franco, Ruben Sierra, Pete Incaviglia and Steve Buechele. They toiled long and hard in Texas but never found themselves in the postseason.
Do it for Jose Canseco. The ball careening off his head and straight over the wall for a home run will forever be the “America’s Funniest” moment that defined the frustration of the early 90’s.
Do it for Tom Grieve. He played here. He was the General Manager. Now he’s in the broadcast booth. The franchise drafted him in 1966 and he’s still waiting.
Do it for Nolan Ryan. He gave the Rangers the last 5 years of his career and now gives more than ever.
Do it for 1500 South Copeland Road in Arlington. It was once the site of a 40,000-seat stadium that saw Nolan’s 5,000th strikeout and 7th no-hitter, but never saw playoff baseball.
Do it for the late Johnny Oates. The only manager to take the Rangers to the playoffs previously, but never able to break through that door.
Do it for Will Clark, Rusty Greer, Juan Gonzalez and Rafael Palmeiro. They proved that the Rangers could get there, but were never able to get past the Yankees.
Do it for Pudge.
Do it for Mark Holtz. Leukemia took him too soon, but his "Hello, Win Column" sure would look great on the jumbotron as the Rangers celebrate on the field.
Do it for Alex Rodriguez and Chan Ho Park. Many people still see those two guys as the reason success has come so slowly. A playoff series win would sure mend some fences.
Do it for Eric Nadel and Chuck Morgan. It’s hard to find radio voice/public announcer combos with this kind of longevity together.
Do it for Michael Young. He’s given this team a batting title and an entire career. Every one of the 1500+ games he’s played have come in a Ranger uniform.
Do it for Josh Lewin. The quirky play-by-play guy left Detroit in 2001 presumably to find a better team. The Tigers have been all the way to the World Series since then.
Do it for Josh Hamilton. Because great comeback stories need happy endings.
But mostly, do it for the fans. 38 years is a long time to wait for a win in a playoff series. Too long for such a great sports town. Let’s pop the top on that champagne this weekend and have a long-overdue Texas toast.
Do it for Ted Williams. The first manager in Texas. His frozen head nods in approval.
Do it for Ferguson Jenkins. He was the first real ace on this team. Don’t let Cliff Lee make you forget Fergie.
Do it for Toby Harrah, Gaylord Perry and Bert Blyleven. That 1977 team won 94 games but missed the playoffs. They wouldn’t have that many wins again for another 20+ years.
Do it for Buddy Bell and Charlie Hough. They WERE the Rangers of the early 80’s and they never even sniffed the postseason.
Do it for Bobby Valentine. The Rangers won 25 more games his first year than they did the year before. He got the fuse lit for what was to come.
Do it for Kevin Brown, Julio Franco, Ruben Sierra, Pete Incaviglia and Steve Buechele. They toiled long and hard in Texas but never found themselves in the postseason.
Do it for Jose Canseco. The ball careening off his head and straight over the wall for a home run will forever be the “America’s Funniest” moment that defined the frustration of the early 90’s.
Do it for Tom Grieve. He played here. He was the General Manager. Now he’s in the broadcast booth. The franchise drafted him in 1966 and he’s still waiting.
Do it for Nolan Ryan. He gave the Rangers the last 5 years of his career and now gives more than ever.
Do it for 1500 South Copeland Road in Arlington. It was once the site of a 40,000-seat stadium that saw Nolan’s 5,000th strikeout and 7th no-hitter, but never saw playoff baseball.
Do it for the late Johnny Oates. The only manager to take the Rangers to the playoffs previously, but never able to break through that door.
Do it for Will Clark, Rusty Greer, Juan Gonzalez and Rafael Palmeiro. They proved that the Rangers could get there, but were never able to get past the Yankees.
Do it for Pudge.
Do it for Mark Holtz. Leukemia took him too soon, but his "Hello, Win Column" sure would look great on the jumbotron as the Rangers celebrate on the field.
Do it for Alex Rodriguez and Chan Ho Park. Many people still see those two guys as the reason success has come so slowly. A playoff series win would sure mend some fences.
Do it for Eric Nadel and Chuck Morgan. It’s hard to find radio voice/public announcer combos with this kind of longevity together.
Do it for Michael Young. He’s given this team a batting title and an entire career. Every one of the 1500+ games he’s played have come in a Ranger uniform.
Do it for Josh Lewin. The quirky play-by-play guy left Detroit in 2001 presumably to find a better team. The Tigers have been all the way to the World Series since then.
Do it for Josh Hamilton. Because great comeback stories need happy endings.
But mostly, do it for the fans. 38 years is a long time to wait for a win in a playoff series. Too long for such a great sports town. Let’s pop the top on that champagne this weekend and have a long-overdue Texas toast.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
United Nations
I've always enjoyed international competition. From as far back as I can remember I would always get fired up when the Olympics rolled around. Summer or winter - from Greco-Roman wrestling to the random "ski and shoot" freak show that is the biathlon - if the competitors are wearing their flag on their shirts, count me in.
This week, for the second time, I spent several days covering international bowling and I think I understand it better now than I did when I was a kid: international competition really is sports at its finest.
Walk through the concourse during one of these weeks and you'll hear all the different languages... Europeans alongside Asians and Africans - all of them smiling and chattering.
In a world of contract disputes, holdouts and lockouts it's rare to see people who are truly performing at the highest level for a greater cause. Egos are checked at the door. The years of hard work stand for something more than a paycheck or a trophy here... and perhaps best of all - the athletes are so happy to be there.
This week Brazil brought a woman who HAD to be pushing 60. El Salvador didn't even have enough players for the team competition. The Bahamas fielded a full squad, but out of 60 bowlers, 4 of theirs finished 57th, 58th, 59th and 60th.
You know why that's great? Because when those bowlers boarded a plane in Nassau they knew they had zero chance of coming home with a medal... and they didn't care. They were so happy to represent their country. So happy to rub elbows with the best of the best in the sport they love. And when the Bahamas DID put together a nice game or two, they were laughing the loudest, doing what seemed to be choreographed dances... it was the pure joy of sport. Good luck finding that in your hometown NBA arena.
The Venezuelan team had an elaborate set of cheers in Spanish for just about every scenario. I can still hear the mother of one of the Colombian girls yelling at the top of her lungs, "Colombia, alli! Colombia alli! Colombia alli alli alli!"
The athletes who actually won swelled with pride. A Canadian bowler cried when she learned that her trios group had won the gold medal. I could hear every word of "Oh Canada" as their entire contingent sang aloud. The American bowlers, so used to winning on the biggest stages, were clearly humbled and proud to hear their national anthem play.
Transcending borders. Above the commercial fray. Passion without taunting... free of hubris. That's the way sport is supposed to be. Hurry up, 2012. I need some opening ceremonies - stat!
This week, for the second time, I spent several days covering international bowling and I think I understand it better now than I did when I was a kid: international competition really is sports at its finest.
Walk through the concourse during one of these weeks and you'll hear all the different languages... Europeans alongside Asians and Africans - all of them smiling and chattering.
In a world of contract disputes, holdouts and lockouts it's rare to see people who are truly performing at the highest level for a greater cause. Egos are checked at the door. The years of hard work stand for something more than a paycheck or a trophy here... and perhaps best of all - the athletes are so happy to be there.
This week Brazil brought a woman who HAD to be pushing 60. El Salvador didn't even have enough players for the team competition. The Bahamas fielded a full squad, but out of 60 bowlers, 4 of theirs finished 57th, 58th, 59th and 60th.
You know why that's great? Because when those bowlers boarded a plane in Nassau they knew they had zero chance of coming home with a medal... and they didn't care. They were so happy to represent their country. So happy to rub elbows with the best of the best in the sport they love. And when the Bahamas DID put together a nice game or two, they were laughing the loudest, doing what seemed to be choreographed dances... it was the pure joy of sport. Good luck finding that in your hometown NBA arena.
The Venezuelan team had an elaborate set of cheers in Spanish for just about every scenario. I can still hear the mother of one of the Colombian girls yelling at the top of her lungs, "Colombia, alli! Colombia alli! Colombia alli alli alli!"
The athletes who actually won swelled with pride. A Canadian bowler cried when she learned that her trios group had won the gold medal. I could hear every word of "Oh Canada" as their entire contingent sang aloud. The American bowlers, so used to winning on the biggest stages, were clearly humbled and proud to hear their national anthem play.
Transcending borders. Above the commercial fray. Passion without taunting... free of hubris. That's the way sport is supposed to be. Hurry up, 2012. I need some opening ceremonies - stat!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Bush League
In college he was the big man on campus - everybody knew his name and everybody wanted to be his friend. He led his school to a national championship then turned around the next year and won the Heisman Trophy. He was a first-round draft pick and is now a hero in his pro city. Last year he won a Super Bowl. I've even seen photos of him wearing a Superman cape. Hell, he dated a Kardashian. Reggie Bush has it all... and then some.
At the end of his junior year and heading into his senior season at USC, Reggie Bush made a mistake. He started accepting gifts from an agent named Lloyd Lake. Reggie knew it was wrong. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Lake has sued Reggie saying that Bush and his family did not repay the over $290,000 in gifts that he took over that year and a half. This isn't a few bucks handed out from a booster. Reggie Bush grabbed what he could get with both hands and hoped that nobody noticed or at least that nobody cared.
As it turns out the NCAA DOES care and they've already hit the Trojan football program hard. USC is forced to vacate the last two wins of the '04 season (including their title-winning Orange Bowl victory) and all of their wins from the '05 season which took them back to the brink of another championship. USC has been slapped with four years of probation, loses 30 scholarships over a three-year span and won't be able to play in bowl games this season or next. All of this because the NCAA says that the school should be keeping a closer eye on its players "relationships." That's a slippery and mostly ridiculous slope that I'll save for another time.
As part of the sanctions, USC must "disassociate" itself from Bush. They're taking his name out of their record books and have turned in their copy of his Heisman Trophy. Now reports come out that the Heisman Trophy Trust is considering repossessing their award from Reggie for the first time in their 75-year history.
It's been the subject of a lot of newspaper columns and talk radio time lately. Should Reggie Bush be allowed to keep his Heisman Trophy? In a word: no. The argument is always the same - "What's done is done. He ran for all those yards and scored all those touchdowns. You can't erase that." Sure you can. Ever served on jury duty? Quite often a judge will instruct the jury to "disregard" a piece of evidence. Yes, I know it happened... but because that evidence was gathered illegally, we must pretend that it didn't. The same is true here. Reggie Bush was not eligible to play during the 2005 season - we just didn't know that yet. He was spectacular. I thoroughly enjoyed watching his highlight reel... but it doesn't matter.
The reason you HAVE to take away the Heisman Trophy is because you need to be able to punish these athletes who try and game the system. Who's been punished so far? USC. In a BIG way. You're telling me the brunt of the punishment for a kid who flies off somewhere during a bye week and parties it up on a booster's dime should fall on the school? Dangerous precedent. How can any college be expected to know what their athletes are doing 24 hours a day? And how has Reggie paid for his crime? He's still a top draft pick with millions of dollars, a Super Bowl ring and ok, maybe he's no longer dating a Kardashian, but that's not because he cheated in college. No, the only real way to punish Reggie Bush is to take something that is dear to him and that you have the power to take - something that he won as an individual during a time where every single yard and score in question was disallowed by the NCAA. You have to do this to send a message to dozens like Reggie every year who are tempted by slimy agents. You can't take what you want - there are rules - and if you play by them you'll likely be a millionaire very soon - but if you don't, we're going to make you pay for it both with public scrutiny and with the accolades you garner while playing illegally.
When asked about whether he deserves to keep the award Reggie shrugs and says, "the on-the-field play speaks for itself." It's a better world when that's true. But in this instance, I'm afraid the off-the-field action speaks so much louder... and demands a reply.
At the end of his junior year and heading into his senior season at USC, Reggie Bush made a mistake. He started accepting gifts from an agent named Lloyd Lake. Reggie knew it was wrong. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Lake has sued Reggie saying that Bush and his family did not repay the over $290,000 in gifts that he took over that year and a half. This isn't a few bucks handed out from a booster. Reggie Bush grabbed what he could get with both hands and hoped that nobody noticed or at least that nobody cared.
As it turns out the NCAA DOES care and they've already hit the Trojan football program hard. USC is forced to vacate the last two wins of the '04 season (including their title-winning Orange Bowl victory) and all of their wins from the '05 season which took them back to the brink of another championship. USC has been slapped with four years of probation, loses 30 scholarships over a three-year span and won't be able to play in bowl games this season or next. All of this because the NCAA says that the school should be keeping a closer eye on its players "relationships." That's a slippery and mostly ridiculous slope that I'll save for another time.
As part of the sanctions, USC must "disassociate" itself from Bush. They're taking his name out of their record books and have turned in their copy of his Heisman Trophy. Now reports come out that the Heisman Trophy Trust is considering repossessing their award from Reggie for the first time in their 75-year history.
It's been the subject of a lot of newspaper columns and talk radio time lately. Should Reggie Bush be allowed to keep his Heisman Trophy? In a word: no. The argument is always the same - "What's done is done. He ran for all those yards and scored all those touchdowns. You can't erase that." Sure you can. Ever served on jury duty? Quite often a judge will instruct the jury to "disregard" a piece of evidence. Yes, I know it happened... but because that evidence was gathered illegally, we must pretend that it didn't. The same is true here. Reggie Bush was not eligible to play during the 2005 season - we just didn't know that yet. He was spectacular. I thoroughly enjoyed watching his highlight reel... but it doesn't matter.
The reason you HAVE to take away the Heisman Trophy is because you need to be able to punish these athletes who try and game the system. Who's been punished so far? USC. In a BIG way. You're telling me the brunt of the punishment for a kid who flies off somewhere during a bye week and parties it up on a booster's dime should fall on the school? Dangerous precedent. How can any college be expected to know what their athletes are doing 24 hours a day? And how has Reggie paid for his crime? He's still a top draft pick with millions of dollars, a Super Bowl ring and ok, maybe he's no longer dating a Kardashian, but that's not because he cheated in college. No, the only real way to punish Reggie Bush is to take something that is dear to him and that you have the power to take - something that he won as an individual during a time where every single yard and score in question was disallowed by the NCAA. You have to do this to send a message to dozens like Reggie every year who are tempted by slimy agents. You can't take what you want - there are rules - and if you play by them you'll likely be a millionaire very soon - but if you don't, we're going to make you pay for it both with public scrutiny and with the accolades you garner while playing illegally.
When asked about whether he deserves to keep the award Reggie shrugs and says, "the on-the-field play speaks for itself." It's a better world when that's true. But in this instance, I'm afraid the off-the-field action speaks so much louder... and demands a reply.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Favre From Perfect
I was never a Packers fan. I didn’t dislike them, just didn’t really care much one way or the other. They were just another team. But somewhere in the early 90’s their identity changed. It was out with the old Packers of Vince Lombardi – farewell to the smashmouth teams of Ice Bowls past. There was a new sheriff in town.
Brett Favre was fun. He played the game in a reckless way that made it hard to root against him and always on the edge of your seat to see what he’d do next. The childlike enthusiasm and joy on his face when he won that early Super Bowl was contagious and when he popped up out of nowhere in “There’s Something About Mary” the national love affair was on.
I admit it. If I was busy doing something else with the TV on in the background and I heard the words “Brett Favre” on ESPN, I’d look up from whatever I was working on, grab the remote and bring up the volume with hope of seeing something amazing. Now when I hear the words “Brett Favre” I grab the remote to change the channel.
The last few years have been so ridiculous that I’ve almost completely lost the renegade gunslinger that captured my attention years ago… which is amazing considering that he may be coming off the best season of his career.
In the Spring of 2008, Brett Favre held that tearful press conference announcing that he was retiring. Hell, he was 38 years old and coming off a disappointing loss in the NFC Championship game so nobody blamed him, but he had really had a very solid year and it looked like this was one of those “go out on top” kind of guys. You have to respect that. Then he had a change of heart. The way the whole thing went down with the Packers was unfortunate. It’s hard to blame either side too much, really. He said he was done… Green Bay had a good young quarterback waiting in the wings… so he was sent to New York to lead the Jets. Ok. I can live with this. Brett looks a little silly for the flip-flop, but the guy still wants to play. I’m still wishing good things for him.
The Jets season was a nightmare. For the first time, he looked old. He led the league in interceptions, the Jets missed the playoffs… and Brett said “this time I’m really done.” I’m still on his side at this point. He gave it one more shot. Now he sails off into the sunest.
It was here that the wheels came off. As the ’09 season gets closer Favre announces he’s “thinking about” playing again. Really? This guy’s about as reliable as a ’77 Pinto. But the Vikings want him anyway and he says he’ll let them know by the start of their training camp. Training camp starts and the Vikings say “he’s staying retired.” Then he shows up a few weeks later (probably in a red cape) and leads the Vikings to the brink of the Super Bowl, having an inspired season. But it was hard for fans outside of the Twin Cities to enjoy it. He was marvelous last year. No doubt. This should be a time when we’re really rooting for him and looking forward to a new year with the possibility of winning it all one last time. But he made a joke of himself in ’09 and this year he thumbed his nose at us all and did it again.
As recently as two weeks ago we had heard that Brett was retiring again. Then he wasn’t. Now he’s back with the team and practicing as if he never left. But he did leave. And this year was the worst of them all. He wasn’t between teams. He was holding a franchise hostage. When it looked like Favre wasn’t coming back, the Vikings went from Vegas favorites to win the NFC to another team in the middle of the pack. You know why? Because no football team can afford to have two franchise quarterbacks. You either have Brett Favre or you don’t. If you do, great. If you don’t, you go spend a bunch of money to get the next one. But if you “might” have Brett Favre then you’re in big trouble if he doesn’t show up. So much so that a handful of Vikings flew to visit him last week just to get a frickin’ answer once and for all. What a great teammate Brett must be. Other players have to fly across the country to see him just to get an audience with his majesty.
There are different theories as to why he keeps doing this. I hear about injuries and how he is waiting for diagnoses before he commits. I hear that he’s just trying to avoid training camp, which seems like the most likely answer. Honestly, though, I don’t care. The “how” has been such a train wreck that the “why” isn’t even important. Maybe he loves the drama… maybe he’s just an attention hog. Lord knows, the media just eats it up with “Favre Watch” taking center stage. Has there been a time in the last year when you could turn on SportsCenter and NOT hear the names Tiger Woods, LeBron James or Brett Favre? It’s been a giant “who cares” carnival act with ESPN acting as the big media ringleader directing your attention from one freak show to the other.
If the conventional wisdom is correct and Favre is just trying to get out of training camp, then just say so! Would anyone REALLY have a huge problem with a guy of Brett Favre’s pedigree skipping the bulk of camp to keep the wear and tear off? Why does it have to be some back alley deal in a shroud of secrecy, lies and betrayal? Roger Clemens had it right. When the Astros wanted him to come back, he said, “ok, but I’m not going to Spring Training, I’ll join the team a month into the season and on certain road trips that are far from home, I’m just not going to go. Oh, and that’ll be 8 million dollars.” At least then the franchise got to make a decision on their terms. Here it is – take it or leave it. Brett Favre chooses a much more cowardly track. “But it’s my shoulder!” Oh shut up!
In an NFL world where guys just choose to ignore their contracts, pout on the sidelines and demand more money I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by any of this… but there was a time when Brett Favre seemed to remind us of what was good with the game. In the end he’s just selfish – and the people it hurts the most (his teammates and fans) are the people to whom he’s supposed to be the most allegiant.
In “There’s Something About Mary” the question was a funny one. “What about Brett Fav-ruh?” It’s not funny anymore.
Brett Favre was fun. He played the game in a reckless way that made it hard to root against him and always on the edge of your seat to see what he’d do next. The childlike enthusiasm and joy on his face when he won that early Super Bowl was contagious and when he popped up out of nowhere in “There’s Something About Mary” the national love affair was on.
I admit it. If I was busy doing something else with the TV on in the background and I heard the words “Brett Favre” on ESPN, I’d look up from whatever I was working on, grab the remote and bring up the volume with hope of seeing something amazing. Now when I hear the words “Brett Favre” I grab the remote to change the channel.
The last few years have been so ridiculous that I’ve almost completely lost the renegade gunslinger that captured my attention years ago… which is amazing considering that he may be coming off the best season of his career.
In the Spring of 2008, Brett Favre held that tearful press conference announcing that he was retiring. Hell, he was 38 years old and coming off a disappointing loss in the NFC Championship game so nobody blamed him, but he had really had a very solid year and it looked like this was one of those “go out on top” kind of guys. You have to respect that. Then he had a change of heart. The way the whole thing went down with the Packers was unfortunate. It’s hard to blame either side too much, really. He said he was done… Green Bay had a good young quarterback waiting in the wings… so he was sent to New York to lead the Jets. Ok. I can live with this. Brett looks a little silly for the flip-flop, but the guy still wants to play. I’m still wishing good things for him.
The Jets season was a nightmare. For the first time, he looked old. He led the league in interceptions, the Jets missed the playoffs… and Brett said “this time I’m really done.” I’m still on his side at this point. He gave it one more shot. Now he sails off into the sunest.
It was here that the wheels came off. As the ’09 season gets closer Favre announces he’s “thinking about” playing again. Really? This guy’s about as reliable as a ’77 Pinto. But the Vikings want him anyway and he says he’ll let them know by the start of their training camp. Training camp starts and the Vikings say “he’s staying retired.” Then he shows up a few weeks later (probably in a red cape) and leads the Vikings to the brink of the Super Bowl, having an inspired season. But it was hard for fans outside of the Twin Cities to enjoy it. He was marvelous last year. No doubt. This should be a time when we’re really rooting for him and looking forward to a new year with the possibility of winning it all one last time. But he made a joke of himself in ’09 and this year he thumbed his nose at us all and did it again.
As recently as two weeks ago we had heard that Brett was retiring again. Then he wasn’t. Now he’s back with the team and practicing as if he never left. But he did leave. And this year was the worst of them all. He wasn’t between teams. He was holding a franchise hostage. When it looked like Favre wasn’t coming back, the Vikings went from Vegas favorites to win the NFC to another team in the middle of the pack. You know why? Because no football team can afford to have two franchise quarterbacks. You either have Brett Favre or you don’t. If you do, great. If you don’t, you go spend a bunch of money to get the next one. But if you “might” have Brett Favre then you’re in big trouble if he doesn’t show up. So much so that a handful of Vikings flew to visit him last week just to get a frickin’ answer once and for all. What a great teammate Brett must be. Other players have to fly across the country to see him just to get an audience with his majesty.
There are different theories as to why he keeps doing this. I hear about injuries and how he is waiting for diagnoses before he commits. I hear that he’s just trying to avoid training camp, which seems like the most likely answer. Honestly, though, I don’t care. The “how” has been such a train wreck that the “why” isn’t even important. Maybe he loves the drama… maybe he’s just an attention hog. Lord knows, the media just eats it up with “Favre Watch” taking center stage. Has there been a time in the last year when you could turn on SportsCenter and NOT hear the names Tiger Woods, LeBron James or Brett Favre? It’s been a giant “who cares” carnival act with ESPN acting as the big media ringleader directing your attention from one freak show to the other.
If the conventional wisdom is correct and Favre is just trying to get out of training camp, then just say so! Would anyone REALLY have a huge problem with a guy of Brett Favre’s pedigree skipping the bulk of camp to keep the wear and tear off? Why does it have to be some back alley deal in a shroud of secrecy, lies and betrayal? Roger Clemens had it right. When the Astros wanted him to come back, he said, “ok, but I’m not going to Spring Training, I’ll join the team a month into the season and on certain road trips that are far from home, I’m just not going to go. Oh, and that’ll be 8 million dollars.” At least then the franchise got to make a decision on their terms. Here it is – take it or leave it. Brett Favre chooses a much more cowardly track. “But it’s my shoulder!” Oh shut up!
In an NFL world where guys just choose to ignore their contracts, pout on the sidelines and demand more money I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by any of this… but there was a time when Brett Favre seemed to remind us of what was good with the game. In the end he’s just selfish – and the people it hurts the most (his teammates and fans) are the people to whom he’s supposed to be the most allegiant.
In “There’s Something About Mary” the question was a funny one. “What about Brett Fav-ruh?” It’s not funny anymore.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Ode de Toilet
From the amount of feedback I received from the travel nightmare story it’s clear that you people seem to revel in the misfortune of others. Well… you’re in luck. This also happened in the past month and would make a wonderful scene in a movie (or perhaps “America’s Funniest Home Videos.”)
It was 6:45am and I was stumbling through my morning. You know how it is – you’re awake, but not really AWAKE. I went into our half bath… still a little groggy… and stood in front of the toilet. We have a framed photo of some palm trees over the loo that we took on our Hawaiian honeymoon. On this particular morning, that photo looked just a little crooked. I reached up in my morning haze to adjust the frame on the wall and it slipped right off its hook and shot downward.
Now for some reason this toilet sits a little bit off the wall. JUST enough room, as it turns out, for a decorative projectile to fire through the gap. So in a split second, the photo slides down the wall and disappears behind the toilet heading for the floor. I tense up and brace for the breaking glass noise that is surely coming. We have hard wood floors in this bathroom and this can’t end well. Instead of a crash, however, I hear a thud and a hissing. PSHHHHHHH! A strange mist appears before me. It’s not until I feel my pajama pants clinging to my body that I realize what has happened.
The frame made a beeline for the toilet’s cold water supply line, catching it just right so as to pop it out from the underside of the tank and now water is rocketing out of this tube at an alarming rate. Like a tiny fire hose it is dousing my legs as I instantly reach down to turn off the water supply. This is a very small room. It’s a tight squeeze to get to the valve and this is also a knob that probably hasn’t been turned in 30 years. It’s stuck. Water is now plugging me in the shoulder and chest as I start to think, “do I need to go get a tool of some sort?” Keep in mind, all of this is happening in that early-morning “get used to the day” time. Gallons of cold water has a way of sobering you up in a hurry.
I decide in this moment that leaving the room to get ANYTHING is a bad idea and I am GOING to get this to stop. I dive onto the top of the toilet (belly on the seat) and reach over with both hands. My feet are leveraged against the wall and I give it everything I’ve got. The valve squeaks a bit and begins to turn. Within seconds the water is off and I am standing among the wreckage. Somehow the glass didn’t break, but the wood frame splintered apart and there is standing water in the bathroom that has started a small river into out into the main rooms.
Since it’s all hard wood I’m now getting a crash course in the topography of the back half of the house as this little tributary snakes its way across the family room, then forks. One stream moves toward the kitchen. The other creeps toward the mass of cords and power strips behind the TV/video game area. I think at this point I made an audible yelp of fear. I fly into the laundry room (splashing as I go) and grab every large towel I can find. I turn off the power strip that has been dampened and raise it onto a shelf. Disaster averted. The next several minutes are just towels sopping up water and me discovering new areas that have been corrupted – the game closet, the laundry room (did water actually make it in here on its own or is this a result of all the dripping off my soaked body when I fetched the towels?) Finally the spill appears to be contained and I gather up the soaking towels and hang them out on our back patio.
My wife was sick that morning and slept through this entire affair, so I quietly nudge her as I’m leaving for work. “Everything’s ok and the story is actually kind of funny, but don’t use the half bath. I’ll explain later.” She says she kind of forgot about it until she woke up and walked past the back patio. Apparently 9 full-sized bath towels dripping water got her attention.
The good news is that there was no major damage and the fix to the toilet was an easy one, but what a wakeup call! This is yet another reason that you really should have cameras set up everywhere. You never know when you’ll find yourself in the middle of an award-winning moment.
It was 6:45am and I was stumbling through my morning. You know how it is – you’re awake, but not really AWAKE. I went into our half bath… still a little groggy… and stood in front of the toilet. We have a framed photo of some palm trees over the loo that we took on our Hawaiian honeymoon. On this particular morning, that photo looked just a little crooked. I reached up in my morning haze to adjust the frame on the wall and it slipped right off its hook and shot downward.
Now for some reason this toilet sits a little bit off the wall. JUST enough room, as it turns out, for a decorative projectile to fire through the gap. So in a split second, the photo slides down the wall and disappears behind the toilet heading for the floor. I tense up and brace for the breaking glass noise that is surely coming. We have hard wood floors in this bathroom and this can’t end well. Instead of a crash, however, I hear a thud and a hissing. PSHHHHHHH! A strange mist appears before me. It’s not until I feel my pajama pants clinging to my body that I realize what has happened.
The frame made a beeline for the toilet’s cold water supply line, catching it just right so as to pop it out from the underside of the tank and now water is rocketing out of this tube at an alarming rate. Like a tiny fire hose it is dousing my legs as I instantly reach down to turn off the water supply. This is a very small room. It’s a tight squeeze to get to the valve and this is also a knob that probably hasn’t been turned in 30 years. It’s stuck. Water is now plugging me in the shoulder and chest as I start to think, “do I need to go get a tool of some sort?” Keep in mind, all of this is happening in that early-morning “get used to the day” time. Gallons of cold water has a way of sobering you up in a hurry.
I decide in this moment that leaving the room to get ANYTHING is a bad idea and I am GOING to get this to stop. I dive onto the top of the toilet (belly on the seat) and reach over with both hands. My feet are leveraged against the wall and I give it everything I’ve got. The valve squeaks a bit and begins to turn. Within seconds the water is off and I am standing among the wreckage. Somehow the glass didn’t break, but the wood frame splintered apart and there is standing water in the bathroom that has started a small river into out into the main rooms.
Since it’s all hard wood I’m now getting a crash course in the topography of the back half of the house as this little tributary snakes its way across the family room, then forks. One stream moves toward the kitchen. The other creeps toward the mass of cords and power strips behind the TV/video game area. I think at this point I made an audible yelp of fear. I fly into the laundry room (splashing as I go) and grab every large towel I can find. I turn off the power strip that has been dampened and raise it onto a shelf. Disaster averted. The next several minutes are just towels sopping up water and me discovering new areas that have been corrupted – the game closet, the laundry room (did water actually make it in here on its own or is this a result of all the dripping off my soaked body when I fetched the towels?) Finally the spill appears to be contained and I gather up the soaking towels and hang them out on our back patio.
My wife was sick that morning and slept through this entire affair, so I quietly nudge her as I’m leaving for work. “Everything’s ok and the story is actually kind of funny, but don’t use the half bath. I’ll explain later.” She says she kind of forgot about it until she woke up and walked past the back patio. Apparently 9 full-sized bath towels dripping water got her attention.
The good news is that there was no major damage and the fix to the toilet was an easy one, but what a wakeup call! This is yet another reason that you really should have cameras set up everywhere. You never know when you’ll find yourself in the middle of an award-winning moment.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Planes, Trains and Disabled Automobiles
Oh, how I wish the following story was fiction... but sadly, every bit of it is true.
This past weekend my wife and I travelled to Chicago for a family wedding and long weekend together - an anniversary trip of sorts, but really we'll take any excuse to go to one of our country's true "living" cities.
On this particular day, weather was GOING to be a problem. Thundertsorms in the Dallas area had actually closed DFW airport for a spell and more storms in Chicago weren't exactly helping matters. Our 5:55pm American flight, however, still showed that it was 100% on-time (even though when we got to the gate, it still said "Raleigh-Durham" on the placards.)
When it felt like we should be boarding I decided that perhaps it was worth asking a gate agent just what was going on since nobody I could see had any real interest in travelling to North Carolina's tobacco country.
When I inquired about the O'Hare flight, the agent clicked away at her computer and then gasped. An actual, audible gasp. Then she whispered to the agent next to her. This can't end well. She looked up at me and said "they just canceled it." Yes, that's right - straight from "on-time" to canceled. These guys aren't dicking around with "delayed." Luckily for me, I'm the first passenger to know this information. I have her get to work on getting us on the next one. I am told I get literally the last two seats - both middle seats and 10 rows apart, but hey - at least we'll get there tonight.
The new flight was scheduled for 7:30, but was now showing 8:00 so it was off to the bar. A couple of drinks later (and another half hour delay) we are on a plane and headed for Chicago. When we leave we are told that we should land around 10:15 or 10:30 and at this point most of us are just feeling lucky to be going tonight at all. Of course, as we get closer we're informed of "heavy traffic" at O'Hare due to storms and we begin a circling pattern over Lake Michigan. This costs us nearly another hour, but at 11pm, we're coming down through the storm clouds. It's bumpy - lightning is flashing all around us and when we do hit the ground, the wheels have no grip - skidding intermittently as we finally slow down and come to a stop about 100 feet short of our gate in a driving storm.
"Folks, this is your captain speaking. This storm is far too dangerous for Chicago to allow the grounds crew out - they have a lightning policy - so we're going to sit right here and wait out the storm until it's safe to park at the gate and get you and your bags off the plane. Sit tight."
Well, it IS storming pretty badly so this is an understandable delay, but it's just a thunderstorm, so how long could it be? As it turns out, it can be 3 hours. And I'm not talking about us sitting there going, "this is bullshit. They should have gotten us off the plane by now." No, this was legitimate monsoon-like conditions with lightning - a supercell just hovering over the field at O'Hare dumping gallons of water by the minute. The guy to my left had an app for that - a live doppler radar shot of the area - this storm was big and it wasn't moving.
An aside here: I would have loved to have slept through some of this - I mean, it would be after 2am when we finally got off the frickin' plane - but no, I had this ridiculous woman behind me who had recently gotten married and worked in public relations and thought this was just a wonderful time to flirt with the guy next to her. Both of them talking... and talking... and talking - far too loud for the 18 inches of space between them and both laughing WAY too loud at things that weren't even remotely funny. Add to that the American pilot seated to my right who took this opportunity to tell me the "long version" of his story about how the builders on his house screwed up his windows and his house was flooded and it's been four years and they're still fighting it out in court and the whole process is corrupt and he's trying to be a single dad now and on and on and on. You want to be off this plane now, too, don't you?
Well, you're in luck, because just after 2am it's off the plane we went and on down to baggage claim. I know what you're thinking. I'd be thinking it, too. There's no WAY our bag is there - just another chapter to this travel nightmare story. But actually, our bag came right out - a little wet, but no problem there. See? I told you this wasn't fiction. If it was fiction the bag would have been a problem. The REAL fiction, however, is still to come.
We go outside to catch a cab to our hotel and we have a new problem. You see, every plane that landed in Chicago in that entire 3-hour period was in the same position we were: they couldn't get to the gate. Therefore, every one of those people de-planed at exactly the same time. The line for a cab snaked all the way around terminal 3 and practically out of sight. To make matters worse - there are no cabs. The city is flooding, this monster storm is still happening. Cabs aren't easy to come by. Every 60 to 90 seconds a cab would appear and pluck two people out of this line of 300. Two hours go by and we're still at least half an hour from the front of this line and it's still raining. A guy on the other side of the partition from us is getting into a cab by himself. He asks if there's anyone who wants to do a shared ride downtown. It's as if my wife and I are shot out of a cannon. 50-pound bag and all I'm in that thing in 2.2 seconds. It's almost 4am... this is a disaster... but at least we're finally in a cab.
The guy we're sharing with is now giving the driver directions to his house. It's only 10 minutes from our hotel. This is going to work out just fine. As we turn off Armitage toward Ashland we're headed for a viaduct. The "El" train rides above and we're below where there's a little dip in the road that is currently filled with water. Our cab driver decides it looks safe enough to cross. Our cab driver is wrong.
As the car reaches the bottom of the viaduct the tailpipe goes under and that's all she wrote. The car is now dead in high water. You've seen those stories on the news of people stuck in cars as flood water rushes around it and you wonder, "what kind of idiot must be in that car?" Yeah, that idiot was me.
So now we must push the car out of the viaduct and onto higher ground. When we open the back door to get out, water rushes into the cab. That's how high we're talking here. Once the car is out of the impromptu river, we are all sitting inside. It's pouring rain. It's me, my wife, a cab driver and a stranger in a dead cab at 4 in the morning.
The driver calls a tow truck for himself and another cab for the rest of us and half an hour of uncomfortable silence later... we're in another cab. This time we drop our shared ride guy at his house and at 5am we FINALLY walk into our hotel's lobby drenched and dead tired.
"Sorry, sir. We have no rooms available."
Fucking hell.
I had a pre-paid reservation. In theory this means that I have already paid for a room and therefore it should be sitting empty right now with my name on it like an homage. I also called the hotel from the tarmac during our 3-hour delay to let them know that it was going to be a while, but I was still coming. Smart, right? Apparently not smart enough.
They explain to us that they have made accomodations for us at a hotel across the street (the "street" in this case being Wacker and therefore across the Chicago river) and that it might be a little while because they've called a cab to take us over there.
It's now so late that a guy has actually checked out to make HIS way to O'Hare. This, as it turns out, is a rare stroke of luck in this grease fire of a night. We wait half an hour for them to make up the room and it's all ours.
At 5:30am, after a cancelled flight, a delayed flight, a holding pattern over Lake Michigan, a bumpy landing, 3 hours on the tarmac, 2 hours waiting for a cab, a high-water rescue and no room at the inn... we finally hit the mattress in Chicago.
Anyone feel like writing the screenplay?
This past weekend my wife and I travelled to Chicago for a family wedding and long weekend together - an anniversary trip of sorts, but really we'll take any excuse to go to one of our country's true "living" cities.
On this particular day, weather was GOING to be a problem. Thundertsorms in the Dallas area had actually closed DFW airport for a spell and more storms in Chicago weren't exactly helping matters. Our 5:55pm American flight, however, still showed that it was 100% on-time (even though when we got to the gate, it still said "Raleigh-Durham" on the placards.)
When it felt like we should be boarding I decided that perhaps it was worth asking a gate agent just what was going on since nobody I could see had any real interest in travelling to North Carolina's tobacco country.
When I inquired about the O'Hare flight, the agent clicked away at her computer and then gasped. An actual, audible gasp. Then she whispered to the agent next to her. This can't end well. She looked up at me and said "they just canceled it." Yes, that's right - straight from "on-time" to canceled. These guys aren't dicking around with "delayed." Luckily for me, I'm the first passenger to know this information. I have her get to work on getting us on the next one. I am told I get literally the last two seats - both middle seats and 10 rows apart, but hey - at least we'll get there tonight.
The new flight was scheduled for 7:30, but was now showing 8:00 so it was off to the bar. A couple of drinks later (and another half hour delay) we are on a plane and headed for Chicago. When we leave we are told that we should land around 10:15 or 10:30 and at this point most of us are just feeling lucky to be going tonight at all. Of course, as we get closer we're informed of "heavy traffic" at O'Hare due to storms and we begin a circling pattern over Lake Michigan. This costs us nearly another hour, but at 11pm, we're coming down through the storm clouds. It's bumpy - lightning is flashing all around us and when we do hit the ground, the wheels have no grip - skidding intermittently as we finally slow down and come to a stop about 100 feet short of our gate in a driving storm.
"Folks, this is your captain speaking. This storm is far too dangerous for Chicago to allow the grounds crew out - they have a lightning policy - so we're going to sit right here and wait out the storm until it's safe to park at the gate and get you and your bags off the plane. Sit tight."
Well, it IS storming pretty badly so this is an understandable delay, but it's just a thunderstorm, so how long could it be? As it turns out, it can be 3 hours. And I'm not talking about us sitting there going, "this is bullshit. They should have gotten us off the plane by now." No, this was legitimate monsoon-like conditions with lightning - a supercell just hovering over the field at O'Hare dumping gallons of water by the minute. The guy to my left had an app for that - a live doppler radar shot of the area - this storm was big and it wasn't moving.
An aside here: I would have loved to have slept through some of this - I mean, it would be after 2am when we finally got off the frickin' plane - but no, I had this ridiculous woman behind me who had recently gotten married and worked in public relations and thought this was just a wonderful time to flirt with the guy next to her. Both of them talking... and talking... and talking - far too loud for the 18 inches of space between them and both laughing WAY too loud at things that weren't even remotely funny. Add to that the American pilot seated to my right who took this opportunity to tell me the "long version" of his story about how the builders on his house screwed up his windows and his house was flooded and it's been four years and they're still fighting it out in court and the whole process is corrupt and he's trying to be a single dad now and on and on and on. You want to be off this plane now, too, don't you?
Well, you're in luck, because just after 2am it's off the plane we went and on down to baggage claim. I know what you're thinking. I'd be thinking it, too. There's no WAY our bag is there - just another chapter to this travel nightmare story. But actually, our bag came right out - a little wet, but no problem there. See? I told you this wasn't fiction. If it was fiction the bag would have been a problem. The REAL fiction, however, is still to come.
We go outside to catch a cab to our hotel and we have a new problem. You see, every plane that landed in Chicago in that entire 3-hour period was in the same position we were: they couldn't get to the gate. Therefore, every one of those people de-planed at exactly the same time. The line for a cab snaked all the way around terminal 3 and practically out of sight. To make matters worse - there are no cabs. The city is flooding, this monster storm is still happening. Cabs aren't easy to come by. Every 60 to 90 seconds a cab would appear and pluck two people out of this line of 300. Two hours go by and we're still at least half an hour from the front of this line and it's still raining. A guy on the other side of the partition from us is getting into a cab by himself. He asks if there's anyone who wants to do a shared ride downtown. It's as if my wife and I are shot out of a cannon. 50-pound bag and all I'm in that thing in 2.2 seconds. It's almost 4am... this is a disaster... but at least we're finally in a cab.
The guy we're sharing with is now giving the driver directions to his house. It's only 10 minutes from our hotel. This is going to work out just fine. As we turn off Armitage toward Ashland we're headed for a viaduct. The "El" train rides above and we're below where there's a little dip in the road that is currently filled with water. Our cab driver decides it looks safe enough to cross. Our cab driver is wrong.
As the car reaches the bottom of the viaduct the tailpipe goes under and that's all she wrote. The car is now dead in high water. You've seen those stories on the news of people stuck in cars as flood water rushes around it and you wonder, "what kind of idiot must be in that car?" Yeah, that idiot was me.
So now we must push the car out of the viaduct and onto higher ground. When we open the back door to get out, water rushes into the cab. That's how high we're talking here. Once the car is out of the impromptu river, we are all sitting inside. It's pouring rain. It's me, my wife, a cab driver and a stranger in a dead cab at 4 in the morning.
The driver calls a tow truck for himself and another cab for the rest of us and half an hour of uncomfortable silence later... we're in another cab. This time we drop our shared ride guy at his house and at 5am we FINALLY walk into our hotel's lobby drenched and dead tired.
"Sorry, sir. We have no rooms available."
Fucking hell.
I had a pre-paid reservation. In theory this means that I have already paid for a room and therefore it should be sitting empty right now with my name on it like an homage. I also called the hotel from the tarmac during our 3-hour delay to let them know that it was going to be a while, but I was still coming. Smart, right? Apparently not smart enough.
They explain to us that they have made accomodations for us at a hotel across the street (the "street" in this case being Wacker and therefore across the Chicago river) and that it might be a little while because they've called a cab to take us over there.
It's now so late that a guy has actually checked out to make HIS way to O'Hare. This, as it turns out, is a rare stroke of luck in this grease fire of a night. We wait half an hour for them to make up the room and it's all ours.
At 5:30am, after a cancelled flight, a delayed flight, a holding pattern over Lake Michigan, a bumpy landing, 3 hours on the tarmac, 2 hours waiting for a cab, a high-water rescue and no room at the inn... we finally hit the mattress in Chicago.
Anyone feel like writing the screenplay?
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